Lyrics from a great Keane song that I can't seem to get out of my head. My roommate Galen played that song for me on the last night before I left Syracuse in May, shortly after graduation, and the same feelings apply now. Part nostalgia, part sadness, part wonder about the crazy ways that life can work.
Today is my last day at Golf World magazine, as I complete a ten-week internship that has taken me behind the scenes of how a worldwide, well-respected weekly golf publication operates. For the last week and a half or so, in fact, I have literally lived at the office - I moved out of my dorm at Sacred Heart University on August 2, filled my car and proceeded to sleep on editor-in-chief Jaime Diaz' couch for eight nights. I hadn't been sure what I was going to do - realistic thoughts of sleeping in my car were running through my head - but my boss Tim Murphy told me I could stay in Jaime's office, and I quickly accepted the kind offer.
Anyway, so here I am, wrapping up. I will be heading to Hackettstown, NJ tonight to stay with longtime college roommate Nick Dauch for a couple nights before traveling up to Binghamton to cover the Dick's Sporting Goods Open for my final Golf World assignment - my final assignment before I go, as Tom Petty would say, into the great wide open.
I started at golf World not knowing what to expect, but knowing it was bound to be an awesome and surreal experience. Needless to say, it lived up to the hype, and then some. I have been reading the magazine since I was probably 12 years old, as my family had a subscription for years, and when we didn't, I could read at it Bob-o-Link, my home course where I worked for three summers. I contacted the magazine in fall 2011, when I was abroad in London, about the possibility of interning there the following summer. Long shot, to be sure - it's a national publication, after all - but I figured I would give it a shot. I was honored just to have the opportunity to interview, and when I was told they were bringing back the previous summer's intern, I was mildly disappointed - but not hurt or surprised.
So I pushed on. The next fall, in my senior year, I threw myself a slight curveball in terms of life planning by following up with Tim at Golf World, to see if I would possibly be able to intern the next summer - after my senior year. Surely a questionable move (who interns after they graduate college?) and one that could set me up for second-guessing later on, but this is what I figured: I had at least made contact with the company, and they knew I had interest. I have spent my whole college life gearing my activities and endeavors toward the chance to work here, at my dream job. I'm probably as close as I'll ever be. So why not?
I was offered the internship, and I accepted. Luckily for me, my family and friends were supportive of the decision, even when I was offered a job at a small paper in Syracuse - where I would absolutely love to live - and declined. The journalism market is tough, and I was taking the very real risk that I was missing my best opportunity to get into journalism young and fresh. But after weighing my options - and probably annoying some of my friends with endless discussions - I decided to stick with Tim at Golf World.
So I came, and I got to dive right into the editorial process - reading and re-reading copy for our print and digital publications and helping make sure the copy was clean, clear and compelling for our paying subscribers. Along the way, I dabbled in fact-checking, archiving material and research. And most importantly for me, I got to write - for both the physical print edition and the digital 'Golf World Monday.' Opening the magazine and seeing my name in print - now three weeks running, with a fourth to come after my Champions Tour coverage in Binghamton - gives me a sensation of immense pride, happiness and hope. It makes the risk totally worth it.
In addition to the enjoyment of playing a part in the production of a golf magazine, the experience was made even better by the staff, who quickly welcomed me into their tight circle and made me feel like one of their own. This is the best of the best in the business I hope to break into someday - Jaime Diaz, Bill Fields, Mike Johnson and so on - and sometimes I had to pinch myself to believe I was actually working with them. Tim Murphy took me to play golf at his club, New Haven Country Club, as did Tim Carr (Rock Ridge in Newtown) where we played twice and I improved by 12 shots the second time (97-85). Free lavish dinners on Monday major closes were a welcome reward, and the 'lunch train' with senior staff on many non-busy work days (where we all ate together) was always a pleasure.
So that's that, and I'm writing this as Lisa (the staff assistant/all-purpose researcher/fact-checker/party-planner/office mom) is preparing for a little going-away celebration for me, as I reflect on my quick but perfect stay at Golf World.
Where next? I interviewed last week for a position at a small paper in central new York, and I knew I was one of four candidates, but I still haven't heard back yet which means I'm likely an alternate for the position - in the classic space between the known and the unknown. I am in consideration for a short week-long internship via the Tiger Woods Foundation at a FedExCup Playoff event in Boston later this month, which would be an interesting opportunity (it's in the finance division), but it would again be delaying the inevitable - the fact that I'm about to be unemployed. Ugh!
So I'm trying. That's all I can do for now. Applying to a lot of places, hearing back from a few, getting interviews at even less - but trying. That's the nature of the beast these days: a lot of people want to be sports writers, and there aren't many openings. I'll try for a little bit longer, but I can't try forever.
But even if it doesn't work out, I can always say I worked at Golf World, and I can always proudly display the clips I was lucky enough to get in the magazine.
And at the very least, I'll always have Wilton.
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